One of the folks in my circle let me know she was really deep in overwhelm… this was my response. I share it in the hopes you may find something useful in it, too…
On the outside, it makes sense: you really have 2 kinds of jobs going, plus maintaining a marriage (which I believe ought to be recognized as a part-time job for the supportive spouse).
On the inside, though, is where the problem is. It sounds like you're trying to live your life using your personal energy, rather than the divine energy that is flowing through you. It sounds also as if you think you need to do big things to experience the divine energy. Both can lead to the kind of fatigue you describe.
To regain that sense of energy flowing, try this:
The next step is to start to reframe your thoughts. In 2 areas:
On the outside, it makes sense: you really have 2 kinds of jobs going, plus maintaining a marriage (which I believe ought to be recognized as a part-time job for the supportive spouse).
On the inside, though, is where the problem is. It sounds like you're trying to live your life using your personal energy, rather than the divine energy that is flowing through you. It sounds also as if you think you need to do big things to experience the divine energy. Both can lead to the kind of fatigue you describe.
To regain that sense of energy flowing, try this:
- before you open your eyes every morning, feel gratitude for the bed and the home and the food in the pantry and anything else that comes to mind.
- Take a long, slow, deep breath and feel the energy flowing into the body with the breath - then release it, imagining the energy moving in and through every cell as the air flows out.
- Then stretch, feeling the muscles responding and taking in that energy. Every day.
The next step is to start to reframe your thoughts. In 2 areas:
- Fatigue is often the result of things undone... we're keeping track of all that remains to be done. So,
- every time you accomplish something - however small - give yourself a pat on the back (virtual :)
- As you're getting ready for the night, congratulate yourself on each of the many things you actually did. Something like, "it's been a good day. I got the space by the door weeded, put 2 meals on the table, enjoyed them, and cleaned up after, a load of laundry is done, and my client today really could feel some changes, and we made good progress on that marketing idea." Every day, every accomplishment.
- Then give thanks that it all happened and now you get the delight of a good rest.
- Feeling drained is often a sign that we're not doing what we thought was ours to do. Sometimes you feel you’re not where you expected to be doing what you expected to be doing, nor are you in a community that you expected your community to be. All of that can take the life out of you. But you made the choice. Part of you says "made your bed, lie in it" and part of you is going "but this isn't how I wanted to be living my life!" That battle is exhausting and can lead to all kinds of symptoms. What would happen if you started thinking, instead, that this is a strange but very helpful stage in your journey toward living the life you have dreamed? What if you could measure the ways in which what you're doing now is a big step toward being and doing the life that you feel called to? NOT a diversion that is in conflict, but a part of the process of getting there?
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