(this was posted on an older version of this site several years ago and seems relevant today...)
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​Have you noticed that when you look at your “To Do” list you sometimes feel suddenly de-energized, maybe even resentful?  Even if some of the things on the list are things you normally really enjoy doing, do they suddenly seem like an imposition?
Well, as a friend of mine used to say, that’s because you’ve been “shoulding” on yourself!
It’s fascinating: the moment we make something that we want to do something we “should” do, our small self (often called our “ego”) begins to complain about “having to” do it.. It doesn’t matter how much we wanted to do it before; all that matters now is that it’s on that list and so has become a “should.” The body now responds to it as a stressor rather than a pleasure: our belly tightens, there’s tension in our arms and shoulders, and for some, a small rush of adrenaline “fight or flight” whenever we think about doing it.
This physical response, without an actual opportunity for “fight or flight” builds up toxins in the system that cause other symptoms in the body, ranging from arthritis to diabetes, and can, for some of us, lead to adrenaline depletion.
Now, the word should is not at all the only such word that works that way—it’s just the one currently in style. Other equally devastating words are: ought (as in, I ought to be…), must (as in, you must do this or…), have-to (as in, but I have to!), and  got-to (as in, “I gotta get this done before….”)/ Each and every one of these is as toxic to the human body as cigarette smoke or nuclear radiation. They all build up toxins in the system that can only be released by running away or fighting—which may explain why kick-boxing is so popular these days!
Okay, you’re wondering, but how am I going to get anything done if I don’t make up a list—and how am I going to get anyone else to do what they’re supposed to (oh, yes! That’s one of the toxic ones too!) without using these words?
It’s not all that hard, really, it’s about discovering what we really would like to do right now.
What? You’re wondering, how would I possibly get the dishes done, the toilet bowl washed, or my bookkeeping handled if I only did what I really want to do?
Isn’t that interesting…. We’ve convinced ourselves that some of the things that make our life easy and harmonious are onerous tasks that we would never do without coercion!  If I didn’t “have-to” clean the bathroom it would be filthy—well, to quote Byron Katie, is that really true?
Really, what’s the likelihood that you wouldn’t wipe out the sink or brush out the toilet bowl when it was uncomfortably dirty and ugly? Would you really just let the dishes pile up in the sink forever? How likely is that? At some point you’d look at them and simply start loading them into the dishwasher, or fill up the sink with soapy water and swish a few through every once in a while as you were cooking—or something! Right?
In fact, at the time you’re inclined to do things like that, it’s no big deal; almost on automatic while you’re remembering or contemplating something wonderful, like a guest coming over or the lovely evening you had last night, or the beauty of the sunrise or sunset. In some Buddhist monasteries, the young novices who clean up the kitchens after a meal are encouraged to think of the pots and pans as “Buddha’s body”—to realize that  what they’re doing is a sacred act and part of their contemplation. And Brother Lawrence, the monastery kitchen helper who “practiced the Presence” became a powerful healer that way.
And that is how life is meant to be lived.
We do the small things that make life easier and more comfortable in and around the wonderful things that make life worthwhile.—not because we “should” but, because, in this moment, it feels perfectly right and fitting to be doing that.
So giver yourself—body, mind, and soul—a break. Throw away the lists and set the intention that everything that needs to be done today for the wellbeing of everyone you care about gets done without your “shoiulding” on yourself. Join the movement for freedom from “shoiulds, oughts, musts, gottas and haftas” and be your wonderful, healthy, effective Self! 

We're approaching Memorial Day and as I prepare my talk for Sunday, I thought I'd share some musings here.

Years ago my mother shared with me a series of science fiction books in which the main character is an orphan, raised by a group of elderly scholars. One was a philosopher, another an historian, another a retired world-traveling doctor, etc. You get the picture.

Well, as the series unfolds our hero travels all over the galaxy applying his unorthodox, but highly effective techniques to all kinds of problems. He’s gone for years. And finally gets back home, only to find that those elderly gentlemen have passed away. And, though they have willed to him all of their collective belongings — from books to houses to bank accounts — he is bereft. They have betrayed him by not sticking around to be his support system now, when he needs it. He mopes around the old home for a while, feeling totally lost and unsupported. 

Then, out of his angst, he starts talking to them — you know how it is, “How could you? What am I going to do without you?” – all the usual stuff that we go through when we’re missing someone who we don't think we'll ever see again.

Well, to his surprise — and the reader’s — his old mentors start answering him! After a while, his room is as full as it ever was, and each of them has something to contribute to his conundrum.

I have to say I wrestled with that a bit. 
For about 15 years, in fact.
Then I began applying the principles of New Thought - from Unity and the Science of Mind.

I needed to heal some old hurts if I was going to be able to function as a working mother. And in the writings of Ernest Holmes and Louise Hay and Emmet Fox, a book called Emanuel's Book, some therapy manuals, and others, I found a series of steps that worked (check out the link to "Ruth's Method for Healing the Past").

And I also found a way of looking at our experience that I’d never seen in all the reading and searching I’d done all my life. I learned that, no matter who or what or when it appears to be, every experience we have is actually happening inside us!

Even now, everything you are perceiving as outside of you is in fact a combination of ideas and feelings that are inside of you — and so am I. So when I look at the people around me, I’m actually CREATING them in my mind - my own personal world.  And when I remember them... Well, I’m sure you can see how that’s even more the case.

So I was healing some old hurts with my mother and some other folks from my past one day, using a process of visualization and internal conversation, and I realized that I was doing the same thing as the guy in that science fiction book! And, just like the guy in the book, I was getting answers to my questions that seemed to come from outside my own thinking!

What’s even more amazing is, even though I never told any of those people that I was doing this work, they all changed their behaviors toward me! They said and did things differently around me because of the work I did with the images of them that I hold inside me.

So what does all this have to do with ongoing life of those who seem to have died?

Some of you have figured it out…

You see, the people we know and love — and even those we don’t — all live in our own hearts, minds, and souls. And, as far as we’re concerned, that’s the ONLY place they’ve ever lived. Whether they’re in their body in the next room, on the other side of the country, or on the other side of the veil we call death — everything we know, love, and hate about them IS INSIDE US.

So as long as we live, they live. They are alive, now and always, in our hearts and minds and souls. They are just as accessible inside us as if they were in their bodies — because the only place they’ve ever really been is inside us!

And there’s more ...
Because there is only One Mind, and my mind thinks the thoughts of the One Mind, then not only does everyone I’ve ever known and loved (or don’t think I love) exist as a thought in my mind...
They all exist as a thought in the One Mind — and that is eternal!

So here’s the gift of all this — got some unfinished business with someone who’s no longer on the planet? No Problem!  Sit down and imagine them sitting in front of you, and tell them everything you have to say — good and not so good — then feast your inner eyes on them while they tell you what they have to say. You’ll be amazed! Then — and here’s the best part — tell them you forgive them, and ask them to forgive you, even if you think they hurt you...

(I know, I know that doesn’t seem to make sense, but think about it, you’re the one who’s been carrying that hurt around and blaming them for it, so you need to be forgiven to release it. You can read about my discovery of - and wrestling with - this in the book that describes my own healing journey: Finding the Path) 

As you do so, allow both of you to feel the Light of Forgiveness surround you and lift you into the State of Grace. FEEL the love and light and peace and joy of it!

Same thing for someone you really, really miss. Sit down and see them with you, allow them to let you know how much they care for you, and, again, tell them everything—good and bad—you’ve been thinking. Get to the place where all you know is the love between you. Then FEEL the wonderful state of love and light and peace that is your birthright!

THIS is what it means to be a spiritual being having a human experience!
This love and light and delight that comes of being freed of all burdens of fear, loss, and guilt in our relationships…
This knowing that, in Truth, all is consciousness, and all hurts and breaks are healed in consciousness — we are made whole...
THIS is the salvation we’ve been promised, the fulfillment of our true nature.

We are eternal ideas in the One Mind, and we have the creative power to transform our experiences by tapping into that Mind through the power of imagination. 

As we allow ourselves to KNOW that everyone we love is alive in us, and that the way to connect with them is through that “wormhole” into other dimensions that we call our hearts, then we begin to live the life we that is our birthright — the life of love eternal.

Bless you on your journey!

Life is truly becoming more heavenly, every day. Yay! And if we are to sustain the experience we need to find easy and enjoyable ways to continue to let go of old beliefs and assumptions – and the consequences we may be experiencing from having lived with them so long.

In Lessons in Truth Emilie Cady says,

“little vexations and fears come up in your life... Calmly and coolly say within yourself, ‘That’s nothing at all. It cannot harm or disturb me or make me unhappy.’"

Later she says,

“No person or thing in the universe, no chain of circumstances can, by any possibility, interpose itself between you and all joy, all good. You may falsely think that something stands between you and your heart's desire, and so go through life here with that desire unfulfilled; but it is not true.”

In How I Used Truth she tells a story about her ankle swelling and stopping her work (we've illustrated it in my Paths of Power biography of her life, The Power of Practice):

“Ordinary affirmations of Truth were entirely ineffectual, and I soon struck out for the very highest statement of Truth that I could formulate. It was this: "There is only God; all else is a lie." I vehemently affirmed it and steadfastly stuck to it. In twenty-four hours all pain and swelling – in fact, the entire "lie" disappeared.”

She gives guidance on how to enter into that “intersphering” state with the Christ – to FEEL the Christ within “that doeth the work”:

If, then, you are manifesting sickness, you are to ignore the seeming--which is the external, or circumference of the pool where the water is stagnant and the scum has arisen--and, speaking from the center of your being, say: "This body is the temple of the living God; the Lord is now in his holy temple; Christ in me is my life, Christ is my health, Christ is my strength, and Christ is perfect; therefore, I am now perfect because He dwelleth in me as perfect life, health, strength." Say the words with all earnestness, trying to realize what you are saying, and almost immediately the perennial Fountain of Life at the center of your being will begin to bubble up and continue with rapidly increasing activity, until new life will radiate through pain, sickness, sores, all diseases, to the surface, and your body will show forth the perfect life of Christ.

 …in thus looking to Him for health, when by an act of your will you stop looking to any material source (and this is not always easy to do), and declare the Christ in you to be the only life of the body, and it always perfect life, it needs but that you hold steadfastly, without wavering, to the thought, in order to become well.

She does the same with supply:

“Christ is my abundant supply (not supplier). He is here within me now, and greatly desires to manifest Himself as my supply. His desires are fulfilled now." Do not let your thoughts run off into how He is going to do it, but just hold steadily to the thought of the supply here and now, taking your eyes off all other sources, and He will surely honor your faith by manifesting Himself as your supply, a hundredfold more abundantly than you have asked or thought.

She quotes an epistle attributed to James, saying there can be no wavering if we are to see results…

Cady was a Christian living in a predominantly Christian culture. Not all of us are, so this language may be hard to accept.

It may help if we understand that she used the term “Christ” to describe, not a man who walked on the planet, but a state of being that is totally and continually at-one-with the divine Source of All That Is. It’s the Spirit of us – not intellect, body, or soul, for those are shaped by material experience – but that aspect of each of us that has never forgotten its Source and Supply. Jesus the Nazarene called it “Abba” or “Abwoon”, usually translated as “Father,” and his declaration of unity is usually translated as “I and the Father are One.”

So we can use the word Spirit instead of Christ. Or, if we want to acknowledge the feminine as well as the masculine attributes of the Source, we can say “Mother-Father within”. In the Hebrew tradition, we might say Adonai or Elohim. If we’re more comfortable with the teachings of the blessed prophet Mohammed, we can use the Arabic name of the One: Allah. Or, if we honor the Bhagavad Gita as a source of spiritual teaching, we can, as Lord Krishna suggests, focus entirely on Him and feel His Presence fill our being.  If Buddhist, we would acknowledge that the Atman of our individuality is part of, and one with Brahman, the ground-of-all-being.

The words do not matter, but the feeling does. We need to know at a feeling level, that there is no separation from our Source and the Good that is constantly surrounding us, being offered to us, expressing as us.

Then we can allow the Power to manifest and, as Cady says

…almost immediately the perennial Fountain of Life at the center of your being will begin to bubble up and continue with rapidly increasing activity, until new life will radiate through pain, sickness, sores, all diseases, to the surface, and your body will show forth the perfect life…

Blessed be!